Have you seen aliens? – asked our daughter. She is five and she read a book about aliens at school.
Your granddaddy saw aliens, said my wife.
Which one? – asked our daughter.
The one you don’t know, said my wife. The one who died long ago. My father.
Oh, I said.
What? – said my wife defensively. He did. At least, this is what he told me.
I just didn’t know that, I said.
What did he tell you? – asked our daughter.
My wife gave me a look.
He told me, she said cautiously, as if walking on a rope over Niagara Falls, that he went for a walk in the woods. And then, after a couple of hours he came to a clearing in the woods. And there he met an alien. The alien was very tall and he – or she, or it, I don’t know – was glowing from top to toe. And my father had a contact, he could communicate somehow … What? What are you laughing at? What?
I’m not laughing, I said.
Stop it! – said our daughter. Don’t laugh! Mummy doesn’t like it when you laugh at her!
I don’t, I said. See? I don’t.
You grin.
No, I don’t.
Stop it!
And then, said my wife defiantly, my father just collapsed on the spot and when he came to there was no alien around and it was raining.
All right, I said.
You don’t believe it, do you? – asked my wife.
I don’t know, I said. Why didn’t you tell me that before?
I took mercy on your skeptical little mind, said my wife.
Have you seen aliens, mummy? – asked our daughter.
My wife looked at me.
Yes, I did, she said bravely.
What? – I said. What?!
Yes, I did, she said with total abandon. I saw aliens. Why are you looking at me like that? I saw aliens. What can I do if I did? I saw them.
All right, I said. All right.
I saw them when I was fifteen, said my wife. It was on summer holidays. We went to a disco with my friends. And when we came back there was a huge UFO hanging above our summer cottage. At least twice as big as the house. Just the usual flying saucer, she said, you know, like those in Plan Nine or Mars Attacks. With tiny bright windows along the rim, all that. And we were all frightened to death. We thought they wanted to take my parents, to abduct them. Girls started screaming and we all ran away. And I came back home very late at night. I told my parents about the flying saucer but they were so mad at me, they didn’t listen to me at all. They were just absolutely mad. And I was grounded afterwards, like, for the rest of the holidays.
Daddy, stop it! – said our daughter. Stop laughing! Mummy saw aliens! Why do you laugh?
I laugh, I said, because I saw them too.
What?! – said my wife. You saw aliens?
Yes, I said. Yes, I did.
Why didn’t you tell me?
I don’t know, I said. It was long ago. I was visiting my friend in Rome.
Which one? – asked my wife.
You don’t know him, I said vaguely. Or, better to say, you do, but not personally. He’s a major pop star now. We don’t really see each other anymore. But back then he was just a friend. He lived there with his girlfriend. They had a tiny flat on the top floor, right in the middle of the city, not far from the Spanish Steps. They had a dormer window and you could climb out of this window onto the roof. There was a wooden deck on the roof and some flower boxes. They grew flowers and tomatoes. And there was the view. Unbelievable. Breathtaking. I brought some pastries and we had some tea out there on the roof. It was sunset, it was June, I think. We drank tea and listened to the last Brian Eno and we were discussing some Christian dogmatics because we were both very much into it at the time. Pseudo-Dionysius the Areopagite, Gregory of Nazianzus, Maximus the Confessor, such things. We were talking about celestial hierarchy, about orders of angels, about, you, know, the Primary Force, free will, the clinamen …
About what?
My wife was looking at me as if I had just confessed to her that she lived all these years not with me but with my twin.
The clinamen. And as we were talking I saw a bright light right above St Pete or, maybe, even closer to us. Bright, a bit pinkish and absolutely unmoving. There were stars already in the sky but they were far less bright and much smaller and there were planes flying here and there but they were also much smaller and they were moving. This light was just there and there was nothing about it, no wobble or vibration, or any mechanical parts visible … I mean, if it were a helicopter … It wasn’t that far away. About a mile, I guess, or even less, right across the river. Not very high up either, about a quarter of a mile, I’d say, maybe a bit more. What’s this? – I asked my friend. Aliens, he said very matter-of-factly, without any surprise, without even looking much at this light. He just glanced, I think, over his shoulder. Oh, I said. Oh, yes, said his girlfriend pouring us some tea, they come sometimes. Do they? – I said. How often? Have you seen them before? Many times, said the girl as if we were talking about some of her more gregarious relatives. They come, said my friend, to distract us from something important. You see, he said, we were talking about things divine and they appeared and distracted us and I, to tell you the truth, don’t even remember now what we were talking about, not really. Because, I said, they are … Right, he said, they are. Ungodly beasts. Presently the light turned bright red and it started blinking. I know what they want, said my friend. What? – I asked. They want Brian Eno, he said. At this moment I realised that the music had stopped about a minute ago. My friend climbed down and put the record on again and as he came back up to the roof the light disappeared. Just like that. Told you, he said.
Did you talk about all those things afterwards? – asked my wife. About Pseudo-Dionysius the Areopagite? Close your mouth, she said to our daughter, and eat you porridge if you don’t want to be late to school and if you want Ms Stephanie to shake your hand.
No, I don’t think so, I said. If memory serves … I think, I left soon. We just dropped the ... the topic, I guess, I said. No more things divine.
And who precisely is that friend of yours? – asked my wife.
Your granddaddy saw aliens, said my wife.
Which one? – asked our daughter.
The one you don’t know, said my wife. The one who died long ago. My father.
Oh, I said.
What? – said my wife defensively. He did. At least, this is what he told me.
I just didn’t know that, I said.
What did he tell you? – asked our daughter.
My wife gave me a look.
He told me, she said cautiously, as if walking on a rope over Niagara Falls, that he went for a walk in the woods. And then, after a couple of hours he came to a clearing in the woods. And there he met an alien. The alien was very tall and he – or she, or it, I don’t know – was glowing from top to toe. And my father had a contact, he could communicate somehow … What? What are you laughing at? What?
I’m not laughing, I said.
Stop it! – said our daughter. Don’t laugh! Mummy doesn’t like it when you laugh at her!
I don’t, I said. See? I don’t.
You grin.
No, I don’t.
Stop it!
And then, said my wife defiantly, my father just collapsed on the spot and when he came to there was no alien around and it was raining.
All right, I said.
You don’t believe it, do you? – asked my wife.
I don’t know, I said. Why didn’t you tell me that before?
I took mercy on your skeptical little mind, said my wife.
Have you seen aliens, mummy? – asked our daughter.
My wife looked at me.
Yes, I did, she said bravely.
What? – I said. What?!
Yes, I did, she said with total abandon. I saw aliens. Why are you looking at me like that? I saw aliens. What can I do if I did? I saw them.
All right, I said. All right.
I saw them when I was fifteen, said my wife. It was on summer holidays. We went to a disco with my friends. And when we came back there was a huge UFO hanging above our summer cottage. At least twice as big as the house. Just the usual flying saucer, she said, you know, like those in Plan Nine or Mars Attacks. With tiny bright windows along the rim, all that. And we were all frightened to death. We thought they wanted to take my parents, to abduct them. Girls started screaming and we all ran away. And I came back home very late at night. I told my parents about the flying saucer but they were so mad at me, they didn’t listen to me at all. They were just absolutely mad. And I was grounded afterwards, like, for the rest of the holidays.
Daddy, stop it! – said our daughter. Stop laughing! Mummy saw aliens! Why do you laugh?
I laugh, I said, because I saw them too.
What?! – said my wife. You saw aliens?
Yes, I said. Yes, I did.
Why didn’t you tell me?
I don’t know, I said. It was long ago. I was visiting my friend in Rome.
Which one? – asked my wife.
You don’t know him, I said vaguely. Or, better to say, you do, but not personally. He’s a major pop star now. We don’t really see each other anymore. But back then he was just a friend. He lived there with his girlfriend. They had a tiny flat on the top floor, right in the middle of the city, not far from the Spanish Steps. They had a dormer window and you could climb out of this window onto the roof. There was a wooden deck on the roof and some flower boxes. They grew flowers and tomatoes. And there was the view. Unbelievable. Breathtaking. I brought some pastries and we had some tea out there on the roof. It was sunset, it was June, I think. We drank tea and listened to the last Brian Eno and we were discussing some Christian dogmatics because we were both very much into it at the time. Pseudo-Dionysius the Areopagite, Gregory of Nazianzus, Maximus the Confessor, such things. We were talking about celestial hierarchy, about orders of angels, about, you, know, the Primary Force, free will, the clinamen …
About what?
My wife was looking at me as if I had just confessed to her that she lived all these years not with me but with my twin.
The clinamen. And as we were talking I saw a bright light right above St Pete or, maybe, even closer to us. Bright, a bit pinkish and absolutely unmoving. There were stars already in the sky but they were far less bright and much smaller and there were planes flying here and there but they were also much smaller and they were moving. This light was just there and there was nothing about it, no wobble or vibration, or any mechanical parts visible … I mean, if it were a helicopter … It wasn’t that far away. About a mile, I guess, or even less, right across the river. Not very high up either, about a quarter of a mile, I’d say, maybe a bit more. What’s this? – I asked my friend. Aliens, he said very matter-of-factly, without any surprise, without even looking much at this light. He just glanced, I think, over his shoulder. Oh, I said. Oh, yes, said his girlfriend pouring us some tea, they come sometimes. Do they? – I said. How often? Have you seen them before? Many times, said the girl as if we were talking about some of her more gregarious relatives. They come, said my friend, to distract us from something important. You see, he said, we were talking about things divine and they appeared and distracted us and I, to tell you the truth, don’t even remember now what we were talking about, not really. Because, I said, they are … Right, he said, they are. Ungodly beasts. Presently the light turned bright red and it started blinking. I know what they want, said my friend. What? – I asked. They want Brian Eno, he said. At this moment I realised that the music had stopped about a minute ago. My friend climbed down and put the record on again and as he came back up to the roof the light disappeared. Just like that. Told you, he said.
Did you talk about all those things afterwards? – asked my wife. About Pseudo-Dionysius the Areopagite? Close your mouth, she said to our daughter, and eat you porridge if you don’t want to be late to school and if you want Ms Stephanie to shake your hand.
No, I don’t think so, I said. If memory serves … I think, I left soon. We just dropped the ... the topic, I guess, I said. No more things divine.
And who precisely is that friend of yours? – asked my wife.